tired....

a lot of things happen, good thing and bad....happy and sad...but still there is long way 2 go trough....i thought that i'm strong i can be strong but now i'm so tired of all this things that happen around me....tired to always have 2 thing for other people first.....some time i wonder why i'm the last one with 'her' that night....i ask 'her' not to die yet...that i need her...that i can't do what she ask me 2 do.....and she just say "you are exactly like me" that's why

now that i've done everything.....i'm started to feel tired of this.....i'm not my father is wife.....i'm not my brother and sister is mother.....i'm just my father is daughter and i'm younger sister 2 my brother and sisters ........i just want 2 be me again..... i want 2 be that spoiled little girl again that not matured girl.....when i'm that person i'm the happiest person in the world

i hate my self for thinking like this.....all i want is just to have one day that i could run away from this responsibility and be my self again....i want people 2 stop telling me that i'm like my mother......i'm not anyone is mother, i just want 2 be a daughter and a girl with crazy life....i just want 2 stop before i'm getting really sick of all this

after a long longggggggggggg time

don't know how 2 start anymore.....well a lot of thing happen all this time but remembering all those thing only make me sad and cry again

my family, they keep asking whether i'm ok or not....well i'm trying my best 2 getting used to it...i still remember when i'm in high school i always the only one at home while everyone else in boarding school and my parent goes 2 work....so please don't worry about me i will be okey please trust me in this

of course it will feel empty a little bit but it's not that bad...........i think!!

next week i will visiting this three country paris, london and spain....hopefully the journey is fun and great hehehehe

please wish me good luch hehehehhe

ponpuan cantik mesti pemalas x pun pengotor

marah betul aku ngan sorang minah yang bajet la ngat dia 2 cantik, kaya bla..bla..bla tapi x sedar 2 diri 2 sebatang kara je....weh kalu dh x de duit 2 wat la cara x de duit x yah nak make up sampai 6 inci tebalnye......kalu dh make up tebal ngat pe la ssh ngat kalu nak bawak turun sampah....bukan kotor ngat pun sampah 2 just kertas2 a4 masa wat tesis gak..... x jijik mana la sampah 2.....dh la ko punye lak 2 sampah 2, leh lak ko bg alasan " sory aku x leh buang sampah aku dh siap cecantik ni kang bebau lak"....weh pompuan kalu dh agak nak bau busuk kang, ko semburla minyak wangi ko yg mahal sangat 2 bebanyak kasi hilang baunye arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh geram betul la

seumur idup aku kang x hingin aku duduk tinggal ngan pompuan cam ko la....menyusahkan hidup....ini x blh wat 2 x leh wat abes ape je yg ko leh wat....memang patut pun ko amek org gaji tuk umah ko nanti...kalu x kang anak ko pun hilang teletak kat dalam tong sampah dan mana sampah n mana makanan pun x tau coz ko kan x reti nak kemas umah......nak je rasa tenyeh sampah yg ko perap kat dlm rumah 2 kat muka ko....x mati pun kalu ko bwk trn sampah 2 x patah pun kaki la.....aku harap la sangat laki ko nanti sedar ko ni cantik stakat kat muka n harapkan kat bedak je la kalu ngok muka ko yg sbenar ada pengsan laki 2.....x pun bila tutup lampu laki ko x nampak dh ko coz ko kan 'CERAH' hahahahhahahah nah hambek ko.....geram lak aku ngan sikap segelintir manusia seperti ko ni

VIVA

masalah lagi 1......tarikh viva yg asyik betukar je......dari 1 tarikh ke 1 tarikh yg x tetap, so nak duk umah pun x tenang pikikan viva yg x lepas2 lagi ni.....mak aku pulak asyik bising kat umah ckp lect 2 bodoh la bengong la coz still x wat2 lagi viva ni

setiap kali mak aku bising tiap kali 2 lah gak aku akan kene bebal pasal ketidakpandaian aku ikut susurgalur family aku yg hampir kesemuanya pandai2.......setiap kali 2 la gak aku rasa x nak duk kat umah 2 macam nak lari je dr rumah huhuhuhuhuh

kenapalah lect x lepas kan je tajuk tesis aku yg dulu 2, x la aku menanggung beban kutukan dari mak aku........dia slalu nak bandingkan aku ngan family aku yg lain yg secara terang2 menunjukkan yg aku ni akan dapat tangga terakhir sebab aku yg paling bodoh dlm bahasa kasarnya huhuhuhuhuhuh

kena marah....

kenapalah bila kita dh semakin berumur n penyakit mula byk buat sarang dalam badan kita, kita jadi asyik nak marah je........well this hapen 2 my beloved mother.......i love her so much than i think i cant accept the way she treat me like im not even he daughter.....IT REALLY HURT..

my mom is geting older n skarang pun kaki dia ada problem so aku memang paham situasi dia bila dulu masa muda2 kita blh buat macam2 sendiri, x payah nak mintak tlg sesape tapi bila dh tua semua bnda kena mintak tlg org lain buat......tapi masalah kat sini semu benda yg dia suruh org lain buat semua dia x puas hati, dan yg paling tersentuh hati bila dia ckp dia benci semua anak2 dia coz 1 pun x bl di harap.....

evey movement we make, with who we want to go out, sampai pukul brape nak keluar, brg ape kite beli semu nak kene dapat green light dr dia dulu kalau x sampai esok pun dia x nak pandang muka aku ni macam aku ni jijik dipandang huhuhuhuhuh.....

so di sebabkan my mom x sehat sgt aku becadang utk x kelua rumah sgt just lepak kat umah je.....tapi bila duk lepak umah macam2 lak dia coment aku malas la, bgn lambat la, asyik tgk tv la dan lain2.....masalahnye aku ada ape tlg g anta bapak aku g kerja amek dia dr kerja, sidaikan kain baju bsh pinggan n sebagainya tapi kenapa lah bnda 2 semu x dihargai pun......my dear sister only cook for her tiap2 ari dia puji macam puteri raja........dia rajin memasak, pandai masak, bgn pagi2 masak tuk mama, kemas dapur lepas makan.......dan itu dikatakan rajin macam la aku x wat keje langsung.......................STRESSSSSSSSSSSSS

tesis

tesis buat aku rasa nak muntah.....sampai skarang aku x dpt gak nak cari tajuk tesis yg blh bg kejayaan yg baik kpd aku.....kenapalah tajuk tesis kene reject je huhuhuhuhuhuh tension aku dibuatnye....................GERAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM betul la